By Kevin Rego
During a recent confabulation between close mates which centred on relationships with women (who else?), a close friend of mine made one telling statement when the discussion veered around the attitude of the fairer sex. “There’s this new found ruthlessness in them,” he said.
Ruthless? Women? That’s the male domain. It’s always been like that. Playing around, being heartless, not giving a damn was what men were always known for. Yet somewhere down the line this whole pattern seems to have changed and the roles have been reversed. But since reputation always takes precedence, it seems to have gone unnoticed.
What’s also gone unnoticed is how the 21st century girl/woman has managed to bring about this change. That cliché of a question: What kind of guy would you like to be with? I now meet with an answer that makes a lot of guys I know squirm.
“He has to be understanding, gentle and caring.” I mean, unless he’s a beast or a caveman, these characteristics are normal in a guy. However, he probably doesn’t openly show this side of him because men are men after all. But this doesn’t seem to be enough for women and the answer seems to lie in the possible fact that the fairer sex expects men to be carved out of the same mould as them.
You will have to go back to Indian mythology (Menaka – the temptress who seduced Vishwamitra) or even the Bible (Eve tempting Adam) to understand that what women want, women get. The “I want an understanding, gentle, caring man” syndrome has been drilled into them and has become a mission.
As a result there is pressure on men. Mind you, we are talking of the state of affairs long after the initial months of the relationship where guys normally agree to everything she says. However, once a hint of sensitivity peeps through, he is confined to this state forever.
This new role reversal seems to work fine for most men until we get to the Asian man. Brought up in households where women always played second fiddle to macho men, this was always going to be a tough ask. After all, there’s pride at stake and his manhood – the very essence of being male – put to the test.
Yet they succumbed. These independent and successful women had achieved their goal. And suddenly the “Metrosexual” man arrived. What’s more, they became a must-have accessory. Moisturising, grooming, thoughtful dressing was all part of the design. The grin on her face was akin to that of a Cheshire cat as she paraded the “new man” about town.
But women can be fickle minded. After some time they realised that the man in question seems to have too much in common with them. Suddenly they wanted him to be masculine, macho, more George Clooney and less David Beckham. So out went Metrosexual and in came Ubersexual. Now the same man has to have a mind of his own, ooze confidence and take decisions – provided she has the final say in them, of course!
And while the “new man” has adapted to this new environment, it’s the women with their flourishing careers and sovereign status who have found it hard to come to terms with it. It’s their mindset that still remains in the past and forces them to believe that men are always trying to undermine and subjugate them, and this leads to a disparity.
It’s only natural then that the power game creeps in. Ah yes, power. Perhaps that is what it is all about in the first place. If only there was room for that state of mind called love. Unconditional love, preferably! That would overcome everything.
Is the battle of the sexes just a power game? Let us know what you think.